Claiming the blood taboo
On the rag. The curse. An out-of-town visitor. Aunt Flow. Hormonal. That time of the month. Bloody Mary. Unwell. Courses. Crimson tide. Wearing granny panties. Out of order. Inconvenience. Red River. Leak week. Scourge of Eve. Misery. Red plague. Monthly sickness. [1]
Or, we could just call it what it is -- bleeding, menstruating, having a period, beginning the cycle.
We demonize having a period. It's a natural process women[2] complain about, openly dread, speak of in hushed tones or euphemisms. We take pills and shots or get implants in various body parts to make the bleeding stop. (Medical issues and right to birth control notwithstanding: I'm talking personal "convenience" of not having a period here.)
While we're busy owning how beautiful we are on the outside with the "Start a revolution: Love your body" and "Beauty comes in all shapes and sizes," why aren't we doing the same for the inside?
I'm not on any kind of medical birth control. Not because I despise it or think it shouldn't be available. It should. I don't take it because if there is a side effect, I get it. In spades.
This has made me have to get to know my body on the inside. I pay attention to every detail, every nuance, and I know when something "isn't right."
I write on my bathroom mirror the dates for the first day of my last period ("S" for started), the expected date of my next ovulation ("O," 10-14 days later) and the expected date of my next period ("P" for projected, at 28 days from the first day of my last period).
And I'm as regular as red-combed rooster.
Growing up, I hated it. It's messy, sticky, and it gets all over clothes or upholstery if there's an "accident." There are cramps, bloating, heightened emotional sensitivity (from anger to depression), impatience, clotting ...
As a community of women, we've come to expect our female peers to complain about these things. We expect the mood swings and discomfort that comes with having a period to be a scourge throughout our adult lives. We talk about the "bad things." And regardless whether or not we're menstruating, if we have a bad day, we're PMSing. We stereotype ourselves based on traditional societal expectations and beliefs.
Yet we take a holistic approach to our health, our environment, our relationships ...
But don't touch THAT. It's a bloody mess.
There's a hole in the holistic bucket, dear Liza.
Having a period is part of being a biological female. In the Pagan community, we call it "moon." A 28-day cycle for a 28-day cycle.
Back in the day (the Pagan "day"), women who bled were held in sacred esteem. They were the bearers of life and sacrificed[3] part of themselves every month. While this event may have been more of a mystery as to the technical workings, these women were part of societies that accepted having a period as part of the whole woman.
By not acknowledging this about ourselves today, we're fractured.
I used to think of my body bleeding as being a sign that I am still physically able to bear children. And that's as far as I went with it. By not moving past the physicality, the biology, I was still perceiving my period as "other," as being outside of the whole me. Consequently, all the things that come with my periods were things from which I would disconnect as part of routine, as inconvenient and annoying.
Periods are uncomfortable and messy.
Inconvenience, however, comes of living in a society in which we are so busy and caught up in the rest of our lives that we no longer plan around those days when we could better use a bit of rest.
The community women's lodges, tents and other places women used to go provided for this needed time of rest. It wasn't about being "unclean." It was about allowing a woman to fully participate in the sacred ritual of sacrifice.
While I'm as guilty of not slowing up as any other woman in modern times, if I can get a moment to lay down and be comfortable with an ibuprofen and raspberry leaf tea, I take it, even if it's ten minutes.
Integrating our blood into the cycle of our lives is not inconvenient. By doing so, we acknowledge the biology of our bodies, get to know ourselves better than our gynecologists and integrate ourselves to become a whole person -- mood swings and all.
I found myself having to explain a couple of days ago to another female how our internal parts are arranged. Here's a diagram for anyone who doesn't know:
We spend so much time concerning ourselves with what's coming out of our bodies that we have become dependent upon medical professionals to take responsibility for the internal parts that don't even belong to them. This assumes that every woman's body is the same, that every part works the same and produces in their functions exactly the same way.
We take responsibility for how our skin looks, how our hair is arranged, how healthy our muscles and bones are. Yet this one part of us is still "other," the other's (doctor's) responsibility, the evil other side of our bodies.
In our minds, we create two people of ourselves: the one that bleeds, is cranky and physically hurts, and the one we are the rest of the time. Two people, two personalities, two bodies.
There is a Double Goddess figure that has been found throughout the ruins of ancient civilizations:
Source: The Turkish Journal of Pediatrics
Source: Goddess Rising (blogspot.com)
"Double Goddesses of Gozo, Malta, in limestone with red ochre. One holds a miniature skirted figure." (Source: Goddessing.com)
In every figure or depiction of the Double Goddess, She is holding Herself, is bound to Herself or is otherwise, in some fashion, connected to Herself. There is no "other." She is each, both, sometimes more one than the other. Yet always whole through Her connection with Herself.
Incredibly aspiring. Incredibly beautiful.
We talk about spiritual growth, getting in touch with our inner Goddess, walking a path that leads us toward some kind of spiritual enlightenment (whatever that is for you). Yet while both feet are walking along that path, one head is watching for what's coming up ahead and the other is looking off to the side: I don't see you. You don't exist.
These Goddess images -- each gazes in the same direction as the other. They are cyclic in their being, just as women are, just as the moon is, just as the natural world is altogether.
Ever wonder at the shape of some Goddess figures?
Kinda looks like ...
Many traditions and cultures believe that a woman is magically at her most powerful while moon. Our periods, our wombs or uteri, symbolize the waters of life, the origin from which it begins.[4] We grow life here in water that smells salty, like the ocean. The ebb and flow of tides, the moon, life. Nurturing, birthing, bringing something to fruition, flowering bounty.
Sounds like a good time to do something magical.
Claim your insides.
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[1] For more euphemisms of menstruation and related stuff, visit these sites:
MUM
List of the Day: Euphemisms for Menstruation
The Pretty Placenta (international euphemisms)
[2] Throughout this post, I'm using "woman" and "female" interchangeably to indicate biology. While I'm aware that this isn't generally accepted in the academic/intellectual theater, I don't give a shit. I do, however, indicate specificity later on in this entry if referring to identity as opposed to biology. I know the difference; this post isn't about gender identity. Y'all are smart enough to figure it out.
[3] Sacrifice: For the purposes of this post, I'm defining sacrifice as willing giving up of something prized that provides (potentially) another thing more highly valued -- for example, a potential life (baby) -- without profit to the one doing the sacrifice. (Not that we can stuff it back in.) The root word is "sacra" or "sacred." ("[V]ia Old French from Latin sacrificium, from sacer holy + facere to make." World English Dictionary)
[4] Similar can be said for males in providing the seed to co-create in the process of life. Like I mention before, however, while I adore men, this is about female biology.
Sidenote: I ran across a blog called Sketchbook Radical, whose author posted an entry titled "Menstruation: Breaking the Blood Taboo" after I wrote this post and was going through final editing. She's a little more in-your-face about everything I just said here ... interesting read.
