Fam Trad, Texas-Style (part 1)

“I have said that Texas is a state of mind, but I think it is more than that. It is a mystique closely approximating a religion. And this is true to the extent that people either passionately love Texas or passionately hate it and, as in other religions, few people dare to inspect it for fear of losing their bearings in mystery or paradox. But I think there will be little quarrel with my feeling that Texas is one thing. For all its enormous range of space, climate, and physical appearance, and for all the internal squabbles, contentions, and strivings, Texas has a tight cohesiveness perhaps stronger than any other section of America. Rich, poor, Panhandle, Gulf, city, country, Texas is the obsession, the proper study, and the passionate possession of all Texans.”

John Steinbeck, Travels with Charley: In Search of America

Recent personal, spiritual events have led me to redefine my tradition and path. No easy task, I've discovered, when forcing myself to take a long, hard look at what aspects of my personal practice are a part of a previous construction and which are wholly mine.

One of the things I never talk about is the specifics of my spiritual path. It's a very personal thing for me. Even High Priestesses need to grow outside themselves, walk through spiritual doors, in order to become more than they are for the community of which they are a part, even if it's just immediate family.

My original purpose in becoming a High Priestess (HPS) was to feel more adept and confident at raising my son in the Craft. Yet, I didn't want to force my own personal beliefs on him and still don't. My formal training in the Craft was Wicca-based with a focus on diverse family spirituality, in which each member may have different paths and traditions. The purpose of this was to learn how to bring diverse and seemingly disparate traditions together in order that the individual members of a family can celebrate, worship and honor Spirit as a family unit, rather than individual participation without the familial support.

Within that framework, there's the building of family traditions in which all can participate and nod to each of the spiritual paths within the family unit, without disparaging any of them. Thus, a family tradition (fam trad, for you folks unfamiliar). These practices make the fam trad unique to the family and can easily be passed on to the next generation.

When I first came to the Craft, I practiced basic Wicca with a focus on the performative, trying everything I came across to expand my knowledge and practice. By the time I reached the point I desired formal training to become a HPS (10 years and 1 baby later), my personal practices were still Wiccan, yet Goddess-centric.

My training coven had a Celt-Wiccan focus. As a student, I was fully aware that I would be learning the path and tradition of my teacher, even if I didn't follow it at home. Because, you see, I've never been 100% Celtic.

While much of the culture of Celtic-based Paganism is certainly attractive and rich, and as many non-Wiccan trads do, I followed (and still do) the Wheel of the Year to celebrate the high and low Sabbats. Since these points in the calendar are shared throughout Western Pagan culture and most trads, this makes sense, particularly when looking to celebrate with the larger community, even and especially when those others follow a different path. After all, what Pagans don't enjoy the company of their community?

Sometimes epiphanies come slowly, and at other times, they hit you over the head, knock you on your ass, and you're left spread-eagle on the ground, muttering, "Holy shit."

And this is exactly what happened next. The "holy shit" part.

Throughout the entirety of my spiritual pursuits at this time in my life, I was also attending college part-time, working toward a degree in English. This particular program was focused on literature and not much else. It was almost like a college version of book reporting: read, discuss, test.

When I transferred to Auburn University, I enrolled in English classes that concentrated on women's studies, feminism and their related theoretical philosophies.

For three straight semesters, my brain was in high-gear with power-to-the-woman, sans femi-nazism. I make a distinction here, because, well, I like men. I adore men. Men are awesome.

And I'm a woman. With womanly parts. And womanly other insides. (Outsides being obvious, if you've ever seen me. ;) ) I identify as female, if you want to get into gender issues. More specifically, feminine female.

Right. I digress.

In the midst of this holy-shit moment, I was also being exposed to a new-to-me concept: Community with, again, seemingly disparate paths, working together, playing together and creating a healthy support system in which to celebrate together.

Sidenote: I've had been a member of three covens at one point or another throughout my Pagan spiritual history, two of which I helped create and lead. None of them survived. At the time, I didn't know why on a conscious level, but more "felt" why they didn't work for the long-haul. Also, I didn't know what to do about it.

I found myself on my ass, yet again, muttering, "Holy shit." This was the exact same concept with which I was trained, yet on a broader field.

The only path or trad I had recognized up until that point as being all these seemingly idealistic things was Asatru or Heathenry.

The Pagan Federation defines Heathen folk thusly:

Heathens work to build healthy relationships with gods and goddesses, ancestors, spirits of the land, and others in their communities, both through holy rites and through their day to day actions.

Hmm. By contributing to and participating in the local community, I've been doing this for a while.

My son is being raised with Heathen concepts, including the 9 Noble Virtues of the Norse traditions, per his interest in warrior- and community-based spiritual pursuits. At the same time, he's being exposed to Native American and Celtic traditions.

Here's what they have in common:

• Focus on family and community

• Respect for Elders

• Honoring of ancestors and Spirit

• Veneration of the land

For my son, there is a very nice complement between the Heathenry, Native American and Celticism.

It seems as though this would work as well for me. But here's the stick: None is representative of my pantheon.

I've worked with multiple Goddesses and Gods--female and male energies, if you like--and with the very occasional exception, they've all been in the same pantheon ever since I can remember.

Throughout the years, I've heard other Pagans say that their personal culture didn't fit their pantheon, so they just switched pantheons. It doesn't work that way for me.

Having a personal relationship with deity is just as personal to the Goddess as it is to me. How disrespectful of me would it be to face Her and say, "I'm sorry, but your mythology and practices don't fit in with what the rest of my community is doing. I'm going to have to ditch you now for someone else's Gods?"

Who wants to get bitch-slapped?

With all the different practices and traditions, all the seemingly competing pantheons, I found a way to work through them fluidly, into something that makes sense to both my son and me, without sacrificing my pantheon or his, while honoring our ancestry, and creating traditions from all of this, that work for us. And when it finally hit me (another "Holy shit!" moment), it was easy to incorporate into daily activities practical practices that allow us to worship and do magic as a family.

For eighteen, my daily activities have centered around the home and hearth: cleaning with rosemary, keeping a hearth stone next to the oven, organic gardening, warding, sweeping toward the door, acknowledgment in passing my altar several times a day, blessing our meals while cooking them, etc. These are all things with which most witches and pagans are familiar.

In our home, use of color is a celebration. Knowledge is encouraged, primarily through reading books. (Who wants to raise an ignorant witchling?) Music, art, our pets (all who have their own magic and jobs to do), placement of household items, how we treat and respect each other, not wasting, reusing or "upcycling" are all part of our our daily practice. I have my own small altar to my Goddess, and Ulrich has his; however, the entire house and the land it sits upon is a temple.

Our temple is an honorarium to the Earth Mother (Great Mother, Gaia, Great Goddess), because it is the Earth that ensures our daily survival. It is She who gives life, nurtures and guides us. In return, we are stewards of Her temple.

Here's where I get the opening quote about Texas: In taking care of the land, we learn about the local ecosystem and what it needs from us. Not the other way around. While I am a born-and-raised Texas, I've been away for a couple of decades, now returned, and there are many things I'm having to relearn,and teach my son about THIS land.

The air is hotter than in the Deep South, less humid. The afternoon Summer sun will bake the grass and crack open the earth.

The community culture is different. Ulrich is getting to know his family, learning new boundaries and a different way of doing some things. He's getting to know his ancestral roots.

What's more Pagan than family and ancestral land?

We are at the beginning of this journey to take this new knowledge and grow our spirituality, me as the prodigal Texan and Ulrich as a babe-in-Texas-arms. We have adopted the Sun as a symbol of both life and death, as its influence can be both felt and seen throughout the seasons and even in a single day.

Everything really is bigger and brighter in Texas.

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